That’s right for some reason Jim has a blog

With Christmas right around the corner and finals week approaching (Thus my sanity leaving me.) I have once again started to think up weird and strange stories to write about. So far I have three that I actually think would be rather interesting though one of them would make a better movie than it would a book, so I won’t be talking about it.

The first story I want to talk about is of course one of my personal favorites, “The Epic Adventures of Wallace Wainwright.” If you haven’t already guessed this entire story is about everyone’s clever and ruthless friends Wallace Wainwright, The Grandpa Bandit. People’s childhood’s I find bland and boring so this story is going to take place back before the Grandpa Bandit even existed. I know what you’re thinking, “How is it that Wallace Wainwright the best thief to ever live not have been a professional thief for his entire life?” And sometimes I too ask myself that question until I realize one simple fact, he never gets caught. Now it’s a common fact that all thieves are about dumb as dirt, but Wallace Wainwright only seems to have harebrained skims, but they are well engineered at the same time. Turns out that the main reason Wallace never gets caught is the fact that he use to be a cop back when he was younger. That’s where things start out in the story. Wallace Wainwright, detective and husband. Now the first bit of the story focuses on Wallace and how much of a hero he is, until of course the unthinkable happens, his wife is killed, caught in the crossfire between a police officer and a bank robber. Now if fate was kind the bullet would have belonged to the robber and Wallace would have had a just cause for continuing to be a police officer, but fate tends to take the ironic route. The fact that an officer took the life of his wife (Heh rhyming words) was too much for him to bear. He quit the force and ended up going down the dark road of alcohol, cigarettes, and cheap women. It didn’t take long for his money to run out and that was when he started to steal things. Only what he needed to get by. Now here’s the interesting thing, as time goes on Wallace’s plans go from clever to downright strange, probably because he killed so many brain cells with alcohol, I don’t know. Of course Aurora, on HMF, will make an appearance as this was the place were some of my favorite crimes took place (I even laughed about the murder of the mime though I still think that was WM’s fault entirely, mainly because I put could instead of couldn’t. I mean come on that sentence wouldn’t even make since like that… But now I’m venting and that’s for Ventrilo ). I haven’t really thought of an ending as of right yet, but it should be rather interesting.

The next one actually has a strange story behind it, but if you know me and have Ventrilo I’ll tell you on there because I figure it’s funnier word of mouth than through text.(Probably will be able to do that this Sunday, if not later…) Anyway the story is called “How Andrew f***’d up Christmas.” and is based around on of my co-worker’s Andrew. This is of course the start of a trilogy of ironic comedy stories the second one is “How Andrew f***’d up Christmas again.” and finally “How Andrew and Kyle f***’d up Christmas.” Now I haven’t put much thought into these books as I just thought up the title yesterday and the general premise of it, but like I said it should end up being a comedy. Now each story is going to take place at one of my co-workers house’s and Andrew will basically be invited and completely ruin the holiday from them, but ultimately bring them together in some sort of sappy “Oh we should be happy” kind of way. The first victim will be my boss, Mrs. Janet (Who ironically shares the same first name as my mother, go figure.) I decided to have her go first because well, she’s overly nice and would probably let someone screw up her holiday season, be pissed off about it, but she’d get over it. The second one is other going to take place at my fellow manager Kyle’s house (Kyle’s only 19 and his little brother also works for us. Plus I know his family a little so it wouldn’t be too hard to visualize.) Or the old man of our little work family a preschool teacher named Paul (I screw with him all the time at work so I figured that would make him an eligible victim for this story.) Now the third one I’m sure my readers will enjoy the most because both Kyle and Andrew get their final revenge by screwing up Christmas for me. (If I end up choosing Paul for the second one, I’ll just introduce Kyle in the third one no problem.) I decided to do this only because I figured my co-workers wouldn’t be too happy about me writing about them so I figured I would have to poke fun at myself, not to say that I don’t already make fun of myself, I just feel kind of bad about them being the butt of my joke. I’m still not exactly sure how he’s going to screw up Christmas three times, but I’ll figure out a way to pull it off, somehow…

So, what do ya’ll (I swear it is not spelled y’all and I refuse to put it like that) think about these two ideas?

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